Don't know what this is? If you don't-then that's a good thing for you. I've had a wonderful life filled with them, including numerous surgeries to get rid of em. Intrigued yet? Trust me, it isn't the greatest thing in the world.
I just had surgery, again, Friday to have two more of these bad boys removed. To keep you from having to google this wonderful word candy, I will get you in the know.
Chalazion (sha-lay-ze-on) are swollen masses that occur inside your eyelids. (commence queasiness in stomach now). This occurs when the natural oils in your pores cannot drain forcing them to swell. And yes-they are uncomfortable. Sometimes they block my vision; other times they make me look like I'm constantly crying (No I'm not sad over what you have just told me). And still other times they make me look stoned. (this may not be because of the chalazion ha ha).
Anyway-the procedure to remove these sucks. I thought about writing a wonderful descriptionary context better than "sucks", but honestly that just about fits it. First and foremost, and the most easy part, they put eye drops in to numb your eyeball. Not that they will be touching it in anyway-I think that just do it for fun. Then I proceeded to get not one...not two...but THREE SHOTS IN MY EYELID. Holy jumpin jesus juice that hurt.
(pause for dramatic effect)
But now the fun part. Ladies? You ever curl your eyelashes? You know that contraption you use that's crescent shaped? They use one of these puppies to grasp your eyelid and then clamp it back against your forehead. Now I know why they numb your eyeball, because suddenly you are reading the deepest secrets of your inner brain because its backwards (the eye not my secrets). Then just as quick as can be they "lance" the "bump" and squeeze the shit out of your eyelid to get the stuff out. The stuff I'm assuming is a collection of various colored liquids consisting of something I'd rather not think about. And all done!
The truly sad part? I'm liable to get these the remainder of my life. Some go away. Some swell to the size of peas. Hell I've had 8 surgeries so far. I'm a pro now!
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6 comments:
That is the coolest word I have ever heard. I would never have guessed that its a name for an eye crust/growth/whatever. I would probably use it like:
"What are you doing today?"
"Nothing much. Just chalazion around my apartment."
or
"He's such a beautiful baby! I want to name him Chalazion."
Seriously, I'm sorry you have to go through that mess. If I could take the pain away from you, I totally wouldn't. But I'm still feeling kind of sad for you.
omg. I want to hug you.
Andrew-Friday?
Katie-thanks K!! :-)
Oh yeah, chalazions do suck (I know what I'm talking about!)
Cheer up!
Lol, I googled it even before you told me!
I'm studying to be a doctor, and my eye ward is yet to start! And I had not heard of these mean critters up till now!
And the procedure sounds so fascinating but I'm damn sure it's something totally different to go through it!
Sorry if I'm sounding like a air-head! I love reading about surgeries!
yeah, I had one for 5 months and there is still scar tissue today (it started appearing in January). My sympathies go out to you because these things just plain suck and look really gross. Mine was so big I rocked a band-aide for 3 months straight. Got a lot of Nelly jokes. The doctor said it was like Wikipedia page big. Keep those compresses and baby shampoo washes going.
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