Too smoke or not to smoke?

I do a lot of traveling for work and I like to take pics of strange things. I'm also a smoker. In this day and age it is usually pretty clear as to where you should smoke. However, ponder these two images.

Do you see my dilemna?

Trash Can mayhem

Ok. So I haven't written in a while. Call it for what it may be worth, but it isn't being lazy, just unbelievably preoccupied. However, I've been thinking about writing this for a while...

When I moved into my new home last summer, I purchased 3 brand-new spanking trash cans. Nice, durable, rubber-maid type trash cans. For some reason, I've been cursed by the trash can devil.

Not long after moving in, I come home one day to find my trash can in the street, run over. I think to myself first, "ok, so no biggie. I've got two others" (the bottom was completely caved in) and then "what sort of idiot runs over a giant trash can laying on the side of the road?" (by the way...does anyone KNOW how to throw away a trash can???)

Then we have a horrible wind storm. God in all his glory decides to play a magic trick and make trash can number two disappear. Poof. Gone. Again I think to myself "ok, no biggie. I live by myself, I can make do with one trash can". Then a few months later I find it sitting in my neighbors yard. Now you would think, "gee, just go get it." I fretted over this for a while. While the owner would know it isn't theirs, ALL the neighbors would think I was stealing his trash can-so I let it sit. I did con a friend of mine to go snatch it for me though. Back to two.

Then I'm sitting at home on vacation not too long ago, and I hear the trash guys pull up. I think to myself "I'll go get the can hear in a few minutes" I go outside, and low and behold I have another damn trash can run over, this one two blocks down the road" Ugh. Back to one.

I'm thinking I'm going to have to invest in a bright orange trash can next time....

Boom! Shake the Room!

Courtesy @aubs (aubreysabala.com), the ITunes Shuffle Meme.

Put your ITunes on Shuffle, and write down the next song that pops up as the answer to the question.

What do your friends think of you?" "Outside" Staind....hmmmm-probably when I'm smoking

If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say? "Pictures" System of a Down....that's weird

How would you describe yourself? "Hunger Strike" Temple of the Dog....makes sense-I always want more of something

What do you like in a guy/girl? "The Load Out/Stay" Jackson Browne....especially the second part

How do you feel today? "Paper Jesus" Staind......weird again

What is your life’s purpose? "Pry, to" Pearl Jam....that sounds just like me

What is your motto? "Sharp Dressed Man" ZZ Top...ha ha

What do you think about very often? "So Close" Alice in Chains.....wow that's spooky

What is 2 + 2? "Roots in Stereo" P.O.D.

What do you think of your best friend? "My Michelle" GNR...too bad I don't have a friend michelle

What do you think of the person you like? "Unglued" STP....that could be true

What is your life story? "Marker in the Sand" Pearl Jam....if you listened to the song it makes sense

What do you want to be when you grow up? "Bittersweet" Fuel....like chocolate

What do you think of when you see the person you like? "Mother's Pride" George Michael...huh, weird-

What will you dance to at your wedding? "Scum of the Earth" Rob Zombie...only if I HAD got married in October!

What will they play at your funeral? "Every Rose Has it's thorns" GNR....deep

What is your hobby/interest? "Drift & Die" Puddle of Mudd......seems true

What is your biggest fear? "Once" Pearl Jam......could be

What is your biggest secret? "The Badge" Pantera...huh?

What do you think of your friends? "I Got Id" Pearl Jam....double huh?

What will you post this as? "Boom Shake the Room" D.J. Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince.....

Interesting....

ok-its been a while and I'm pissy....

I just feel like ranting about nothing that is really that important. But sometimes you just got to let it go...here are a few current things bothering me....

1-snow. ok, ok. really, it's sooooo pretty....and most of my friends can easily just "stay home" when it snows....some of us have to drive in this CRAP. I like snow just like everyone else...but only on weekends and after 6 p.m. It can pretty much magically disappear otherwise!! ;-)

2-Speaking of snow, I understand that people south of the illinois border drive like idiots when its snowing because they aren't used to it...and people north of illinois drive like idiots because they ARE used to it. But what purpose is it to have a combination of the two here? It makes no sense...

3-This last one may be a future blog. We shall see. We have come to rely on computers too much. Case in point.....I used to have service through cellular one. I ended it in approx. June. Somehow I have overpaid on my final bill and they owe me a dime. A friggin dime....and since June I have received a statement telling me that! Is there no person to say, "oh-gee, maybe we should send a check to this pour soul...we owe him ten whole cents...."....guess not. By my tabulations they have sent me enough statements to cost them 3.00. As for the future blog, I'm going to call and request they send me a check for a dime...If they refuse, I'll just explain that they can't clear it because it is legally mine, and they've already spent three bucks on me...why not just send it out anyway. Can't wait to see their reply ;-)

Enough-I'm not really that pissy....just miss the opportunity to blog...its very cleansing!

Ever feel like a yo-yo?

To begin with, I haven't really had a lot of time to post (and you'd be surprised by the feedback I'm getting of "hey, why haven't you posted again yet") and this is almost me just typing for the sake of typing, but I'm pretty sure I can come up with something to talk about.

I have come to the conclusion that my feelings are like a yo-yo. I just got done reading a post at startingoverat24's site (and I so tried to set up a link here-but since I'm missing out on the finer points of linking-I have failed miserably), and I came to the realization that I am by far the world's worst over-analyzer. I don't even think that's a term you can find in the dictionary (albeit it could be-I've only got to the g's as I'm reading through it ;-) ).

It could be what perpetually is the cause of the failure of every single one of the relationships that I strive to obtain. In So24's post, it's all about a debate between two guys and their relationship approaches (and I won't paraphrase here-just go read it). I am almost exactly a mixture of both Jack and Leo. I strive to be both at the same time. It's like a cloud has lifted from my eyes. I THINK TOO MUCH. Sometimes I wish I could shut my brain off!

So to make an extremely long post much shorter (and also because I am not the world's greatest writer), my failure is because instead of enjoying the moment (Jack), I think to myself either "where is this going" or "what am I doing wrong" or the perpetual "when the eff am I going to see her again" (Leo) instead of just enjoying what I have and finding other sources of entertainment. Oh and for you english teacher's out there (wink), I'm pretty sure I just typed a run-on sentence; so sue me!

That's it for now. I have way too many thoughts running through my mind, but in no way can I organize them enough right now for them to make any sense to anyone who might read this

Until next time

*oh and byccmm....the english teacher line was for you...I even went back and corrected some critical errors ;-)

Fear....

Fear. The transcendence of either years of failure or an unnatural inner feeling that cannot be explained. Why do we fear? For most it is the thought of harm to oneself or others, either physical or emotional. The fear I am speaking about is the fear of failure.

I've always been one to believe that once you have failed at something you should pick yourself back up and try again. Easier said than done. Whether it is failure at achieving something or failure at succeeding at something, it can traumatize you into not trying again. I have failed at many things; many of us have. I will not however quit trying. To quit at life is to not see the bounty of your hard work. You cannot know true happiness if you choose to avoid failure. So what do I fear?

Water. It isn't as if the thought of a shower scares me. Don't get me wrong. I'm saying DEEP water. I think it is the thought of two things. One-I cannot swim. No idea why. I just absolutely sink like a rock. The other is the idea of drowning. Not the most idealistic way to perish is it?

Heights. Self-explanatory. Funny thing is, I can stand on an outside balcony of a 50 story building and be fine, but don't ask me to stand on the top rung of a six foot ladder! I think it is the "safety" net thing.

And my newest fear, after years of failure: Relationships. For most of my life, at least for the last five years or so, I have continued to fail at them, mostly at the hands of another. So my fear associated with this is the fear of being emotionally hurt. I think it is the idea of putting myself too far in only to be squashed like a bug by a falling piano. Is it me that causes these to fail? maybe. I get quite emotionally attached, and it shows, sadly. I've been cursed with the "gee, he's such a nice guy tag" that it comes with the additional thought "let's walk all over him." I can't say that every relationship I have ever had has not been ended by me. I've done my share. Usually, however, it is at the cost of someone who actually does care for me, and I choose to run to keep myself safe. I have a tendency to "over-analyze" every situation, either good or bad. But typically, each and every time I do continue on, in spite of "warning" signs (mainly interior thoughts), it ends with me getting the short end of the stick. So what should I do? Continue on as if nothing has ever happened? Utilize past relationships to look for failures in new ones? Be open and caring as usual, or hold myself in as long as possible? Honestly there isn't a correct course of action in this case. From now on I must focus on myself first (of course with the possible side effect of being one of those old cat ladies, minus the lady part). Wish me luck.

On a side note, I have found someone I find truly intriguing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, as usual.....

Tennessee isn't all that bad....

I just returned home from a mandatory trip for work to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Immediately you might be saying, "gee, gatilinburg? well that isn't so bad-lucky you." I will tell you one thing-it was not the most enjoyable trip I've had.

First and foremost, we were supposed to fly out from St. Louis to Chicago, and then on to Knoxville, before driving into Gatlinburg. So I rolled my sleepy butt out of bed at 4:15 in the morning anticipating a quick trip down. Okay kids-can you say anticipate? Have you ever heard of worst case scenario? We arrive at the airport at around 8:30 for a 9:15 flight (traffic was horrible coming in-there was like 5 wrecks near St. Louis because of snow). The first thing we hear is, "oh, it looks like your flight is cancelled, you'll need to go to the check-in counter." Great. So we wait in line for fifteen to hear that the second half of our flight is cancelled from chicago to knoxville. To make an extremely long story short, it took us three hours, and many phone calls, to finally rent a van to drive to knoxville. For those of you who have ever driven to Gatlinburg, you do know it is back the other direction I just came. To further drive the point home, we took lunch in benton, IL at 12:45. Okay, I live 1 hour and 40 minutes from Benton and I left home at 5 a.m. Let's see, doing the math, almost 8 hours of travel to get 1 hour and 40 minutes from home. Fantastic work!

Moving on. We arrive in Gatlinburg at 11 p.m which is 12 eastern time. Everyone but two people in our cabin are already asleep, and the only place to sleep was on a couch. Fantastic number two. I proceeded to get about 3 hours of sleep because one insomniac co-worker decides to get up at 4.a.m. to make coffee and small talk with a co-worker. Great! 18 hours of travel and then 3 hours sleep. Fantastic number three!

Well the first day we had meetings that lasted all day. 8:30 until ten at night. Granted the meetings were fine (when I could keep my eyes open) and that night we had a great dinner banquet. However-I return to the cabin and my stomach starts hurting. For those who know me, once in a while I get stomach cramps. They usually pass after a couple of days. So I thought "No biggie, just a cramp, I'll sleep it off" HA! Once again on the couch-couldn't sleep at all, and at 5 a.m. mother nature informs me "that dinner wasn't any good-let's return it." Ugh. I enjoy food like everyone else, but not twice! So I missed the first half of day two's meeting, then went, in pain, and attended work until almost 9 that night. Keep in mind I'm running on six hours sleep (as I finally laid down and slept from 9-12 that morning). I'm dying here. Fantastic number four.

Thank goodness our flights back weren't cancelled. Phew. Clear skies-quick travel-home in the afternoon. I couldn't be happier.

To sum it up, however, Gatlinburg has got to be the MOST beautiful place I have been lucky enough to see. I've been to Hawaii, the east coast, Canada, Cancun, and Florida to name a few. By far, Gatlinburg is the most beautiful. I recommend you take a shot at going. So after all, Tennessee isn't all that bad....