Why we all suffer...

So I thought I'd share my opinion on why it seems everyone gets hurt in relationships.....I started writing this and thought "maybe I've written this before," but if not, now you don't have to scroll down!

* WARNING * Coarse language used (just in case there are younger readers or some bullshit. um..oops)

Ok..so here is my theory: Assholes ruin it for everyone. Follow me on this assumption. Let's take two people. A is a really nice girl. Young, sweet, naive, and has a good head on her shoulders. B is a nice guy. Really wants to find a nice girl.

So subject A, who I shall now refer to as "nice girl" to make this easier to read, is always attracted to boys who are a "challenge." The boy she can't have. The boy who treats her like shit. The asshole. The nice girl gets her heart broke. Nice girl eventually becomes " a bitch" or a girl who is scared of commitment and runs oh so far away.

Subject B, nice guy, is always attracted to girls who appear to be nice girls but are either a bitch or "runny girl". Over time, after getting dumped on numerous times, subject b, nice guy, becomes a, you guessed it, asshole.

So assholes ruin it for everyone!

How much fun is this for everyone???

I may be...I may have...I may do things..I will

I may be....one of the nicest guys you will meet.....but I have my quirks

I may be...capable of love...but I've been hurt before-and it shows

I may be....slightly obsessive...but only because I want more of what I want

I may be....kind to strangers...but it does not mean I want more friends

I may have...family...but I'm not close enough to them

I may have...a heart...but sometimes I think it is always broken

I may have...feelings...but I still lay them out for you to destroy

I may have...thoughts...but I'm willing to share them with you

I may do things...that I'm not proud of...but I won't do them again

I may do things...that drive you away...but I'm the one who will hurt

I may do things...that I try not to do...but life seems to repeat itself

I may do things....that seem strange..but it is all I know to give

I will...not let the past be a determination....of what the future will hold for me.

I will...not let these thoughts in my head.... be the end of something great

I will...not let others tell me what is wrong..... when I feel it's right

I will...give you the love you deserve....if you promise to give some back

Friend to the end

I was cleaning up my house the other day (yes, hard to believe) and came across some old photographs. They plunged me right back into my life as a child and pubescent teenager pretty quickly. They weren't photographs of prom, or pictures of me running around the house in my underwear (I'm sure they are around here somewhere), but pictures of the best friend anyone can ever have as a child. My dog.

Her name was Midget. Interesting name right? Well, my Dad always had a soft spot for animals that no one wanted (we also had a cat who was a "dumped" stray and later a golden retriever/coyote mix-totally awesome) and he brought home the tiniest cutest little animal one day when I was about six. She was the runt of the litter so we adopted the name Midget. Cute, huh?

Well I wanted to share with you two things. A few pictures of the best dog EVER. And a story about what kind of dog she was.

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I do have pics of her as a puppy somewhere, but I think that's also the one with me in my underwear!

So Midget was by far the sweetest animal I have ever owned (or met). I mentioned earlier a cat that was stray (Smoky). Well Midget and her became best friends; in the process defeating the age old cat vs. dog standard. The cutest things I remember? Smoky used to have kittens in Midget's dog house. Midget would curl up at the door, prop her paws up on it, and watch. It was a sight to behold. I think we broke her heart when we had her spade. She would have been a great mother to some puppies. Once the kittens got older and they started coming out of the house, Midget would sleep outside on the grass and the kittens would sleep on top of her! But by far the neatest thing I remember is when we would feed the animals. We would have anywhere from 6 to 10 cats at one time (depending on litter size and if we kept any) and we fed the cats and Midget Alpo dog food. We'd empty about three cans on a pie plate and Midget would let the cats eat first then clean off what was left.

I sure do miss her (still after about 17 years)-and I hope you have enjoyed the read :-)

Chalazion (warning: medical drama)

Don't know what this is? If you don't-then that's a good thing for you. I've had a wonderful life filled with them, including numerous surgeries to get rid of em. Intrigued yet? Trust me, it isn't the greatest thing in the world.

I just had surgery, again, Friday to have two more of these bad boys removed. To keep you from having to google this wonderful word candy, I will get you in the know.

Chalazion (sha-lay-ze-on) are swollen masses that occur inside your eyelids. (commence queasiness in stomach now). This occurs when the natural oils in your pores cannot drain forcing them to swell. And yes-they are uncomfortable. Sometimes they block my vision; other times they make me look like I'm constantly crying (No I'm not sad over what you have just told me). And still other times they make me look stoned. (this may not be because of the chalazion ha ha).

Anyway-the procedure to remove these sucks. I thought about writing a wonderful descriptionary context better than "sucks", but honestly that just about fits it. First and foremost, and the most easy part, they put eye drops in to numb your eyeball. Not that they will be touching it in anyway-I think that just do it for fun. Then I proceeded to get not one...not two...but THREE SHOTS IN MY EYELID. Holy jumpin jesus juice that hurt.

(pause for dramatic effect)

But now the fun part. Ladies? You ever curl your eyelashes? You know that contraption you use that's crescent shaped? They use one of these puppies to grasp your eyelid and then clamp it back against your forehead. Now I know why they numb your eyeball, because suddenly you are reading the deepest secrets of your inner brain because its backwards (the eye not my secrets). Then just as quick as can be they "lance" the "bump" and squeeze the shit out of your eyelid to get the stuff out. The stuff I'm assuming is a collection of various colored liquids consisting of something I'd rather not think about. And all done!

The truly sad part? I'm liable to get these the remainder of my life. Some go away. Some swell to the size of peas. Hell I've had 8 surgeries so far. I'm a pro now!

So, yeah, I've been busy....

So it has been forever since I have had a chance to really sit down and write a blog; well at least a blog longer than a twitter update. I've been meaning to-I have had a few opportunites-but damn have I been busy. A few updates of what has kept me from sharing with my blogger friends.

Numero uno: I had to travel to Tennessee for two weeks for work. While exciting to go somewhere new (not that I haven't been to the state-just not that far east), it did suck the ever-loving life out of me. Grand total time of two trips in two weeks: 26 hours and almost 1900 miles. ugh. Future blog-my experience in the hotel (not what you think!)

Numero dos: I recently started back at school. Not the type where you have to attend and sit in a class with some of the strangest people you could meet in person; the online type. However, being that this might just be the hardest class I have ever taken, it has required me to fore go doing anything I'd prefer to do. Too bad it lasts until January.

Numero tres: I recently broke it off with my girlfriend of five months. Now you might think "gee Derek now you have more time to blog." While this may be true, that was part of the reason I couldn't blog. Goodbye domestication, hello blogging freedom! While she was a superb woman and had great kids, it just wasn't quite what I was looking for (One of these days I'm going to have to quit being so damn picky. Thank god I like cats)

Numero quattro: My friend Zach stayed for about a week who I haven't seen for almost a year. Yup-no way to blog if you're drunk, killing stuff on a PS3, and ignoring number 2 and number 3. Ooooops!


I'm trying-I'm really trying to make time for real life friends and still pop online and spew my true feelings out (aw how sentimental), but damn life is hard to juggle. Forgive me blogger friends! Note to self: Put blogging on calendar.....

Thanks Katie for reminding me....

So I'm sitting here in my undies thinking about Hawaii. Strange, I know (just so you know, I ALWAYS write blogs in my undies-true story). However, I recently updated my blog (slightly..) and Katie left me a msg saying she liked it :-) Thanks K!

Anyway-the update I made was with a picture I took while in Hawaii last year. I thought I just might mention some things to do and NOT do while there. I had to go for a business trip, so I was alone and I wasn't there long...so needless to say, I didn't get to do much. However-here is my list :-)

DO visit the beach. I couldn't stay there long due to working during the day. However, it is gorgeous there. Temp was around 75 all day and night and nothing beats watching the sun go down over the pacific ocean.

DO take plenty of cash! If you are like me, you like to eat. I spent 50 bucks on just a piece of chicken, rice, and a beer. Not to mention milk is like seven dollars a gallon!

DO make time to see Pearl Harbor. If it is the one and only time you visit Hawaii, you must experience the memorial to the national tragedy. VERY moving.

DO take lots of pictures. You won't regret it. Even people with no picture taking skills (like me) manage to make crappy shots look somewhat decent!

However, DO NOT plan on sleeping. With the 5 hour time difference I had, at 4:30 I was ready for bed, and by 1 am I was sitting awake in the hotel room.

DO NOT stay on Oahu-stay on Maui. The traffic is HORRIBLE at best. Drivers don't even signal....they just hang their hands out the window and say "hang loose" (Imagine me doing the hand movement now.)

DO NOT visit the week of Halloween, unless you plan on not doing 2 spots above (sleeping). They party all night (damn it I was there on business)

DO NOT go alone. How boring is it to sit in one of the most beautiful places in the world
and have no one to share it with...:-(

I will tell you that it is a very beautiful there. You must visit, at least once. Thanks for the reminder Katie!

It arrived....

So, I entered a contest of Lazyking's a while back, and lo and behold I won :-) I emailed Lazy, and he said he placed the order and I would receive it soon. AND IT IS HERE :-) You can read the contest blog here. And check out the rest of the blog. LK has it goin on :-)

And yes...I put it sideways, just so I can imagine you tilting your head to the left ;-)